The phrase "forgive and forget" implies that both forgiving and forgetting are simple, mechanical tasks. As though letting go of a painful memory is as easy as closing a book and placing it back on the shelf. But the human mind is not built that way. We are built not only to remember, but to retain emotionally significant events, especially when those events involve physical or psychological harm.

Talking about finances can be like talking about sex. Some couples are comfortable having explicit conversations about these topics. They are willing and able to be open and vulnerable, sharing their hopes, fears, desires, and expectations. But many couples feel uncomfortable discussing these topics and avoid these conversations altogether, despite having strong feelings and expectations.