In my work with couples, I often see how it’s not the absence of conflict, but the presence of consistent connection that predicts long-term relational health. I often remind partners that the strength of a relationship isn’t just tested in moments of conflict—it’s built in the quiet, everyday moments in between.

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. However, the way we communicate during those conflicts can either strengthen or weaken the connection we share with our partners. Many of us believe we’re communicating effectively, but the real issue often lies not in what we’re saying, but in how we’re saying it.

Marriage as a spiritual path means committing to loving one another as you really are not as you had imagined or wanted each other to be. It means committing to accepting and loving yourselves even when the pettiest and most immature parts of your beings emerge in protest at life not going as planned.